My monsters won't sleep. My dragon girl is sick again and the little lion is not sleeping tonight. This last week I am averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night, last night I only got 2. I am so tired that I actually did the math (I hate math) and I would need to sleep 27 hours straight just to catch up sleep from the last 5 days. I need Thorazine. Or a roofie. This is ridiculous. My husband won't get up with the kids and it makes me even crazier. I understand, he has to work and I stay home, but it drives me nuts anyway. He offered to come home early today and let me sleep, but after a week of sick kids and sleepless nights I am snappish and I told him not to bother. My twisted monster logic goes like this- he won't help me when I really need him to (say, at 3am) so I don't want his help anymore. It's not fair to him, I know how unhealthy it is to think like that, but right now I don't freaking care. I'm exhausted. If this was torture I would totally give away my secrets....because everything sucks when you aren't allowed to sleep.
I have to say though, watching cartoons at 4am with a sick toddler is actually kind of fun. We drank milk, cuddled on the couch, and discussed life. My husband is missing out on some very good times, while he blissfully enjoys his full night of sleep. And I know it's wrong but I resent him for it. See, that is the thing about losing your mind to exhaustion. You start to get irritated very quickly, your head aches, you can't get a grasp on the world around you, and everything feels like it is covered in sandpaper. It is a little like being high, but not nearly as much fun. I can speak with some authority on the subject because my kids never sleep and before I had kids I stayed up all night for...ummm... other reasons. Maybe I should just quit trying to sleep. Or maybe I should try to get a good nights sleep and start eating more so I don't drop dead. Whatever requires the least amount of effort.
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